Three year olds and tantrums

So Quinn is fairly oppositional and defiant at present. Oh, did I say fairly? I meant totally and absolutely, wholly and completely. His first one of the day occurred at 5:30am this morning and we are enduring up to eight tantrums a day (that was his score today). They can range from 5 minutes to about half an hour.

Some of the range of things which currently unhinge him - in no particular order:
putting shoes on
putting coat on
taking coat off
having his seat belt on
getting out of the car
eating lunch
washing his hands
drawing
not drawing
being refused permission to eat lollies every 2.7 minutes
being refused permission to drink cordial
being offered a mandarin
being offered a cuddle
not being offered a cuddle

Some of the things he says to me nowdays:
why?
i don't want to
no
no
no
why?
you're a bum bum (shouted at me in a rage - I involuntarily laughed at the comment/him/my impending insanity and it distracted him long enough to break the tantrum)
no
why?
i'm not your favourite boy anymore
no
don't look at me
no
no
you are mean mummy

There are many more, but I won't bore you. Suffice it to say I'm a bit frazzled and a bit cranky. I must say that this is not turning out to be my favourite age for Quinn, give me his compliant clumsy toddling, his slobbery kisses and one word requests any day.

What worked for Mieke at the same age does not have the same desired effect on Quinn. Mieke has always been more responsive and sensitive to moods of others. She is highly attuned to Matt's and my emotional status whereas Quinn seems a little less concerned. He is so content to be his own person and do his own thing that if it means going against the flow, then so be it. And I think that will be a most positive character trait in his adult life, we just need to work a way around it now so he will comply with our Very Mean, Bum Bum and Not Favourite Boy everyday routines and rules!

Look at that photo over there on the right. It seems incongruent with what I've written above doesn't it? Bless him. It's hard being three.